HI MOM!

“When God Created Mothers" HI MOM!

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." 

And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." 

The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." 

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." 

That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. 

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." 

"God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." 

"I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower." 

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. 

But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." 

"Can it think?" 

"Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. 

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. 

There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." 

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." 

"What's it for?" 

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." 

"You are a genius," said the angel. 

Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.” 


― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

4 comments

  • Allie Kurle
    Allie Kurle Bellevue, WA
    Thank you for the Erma Bombeck! We also thank you for for the health update. We are keeping you, Eric and your healthcare team in our prayers. Hope to visit Anderson Valley and our Gowan relatives in late June. We will make a reservation at Smith Story for sure. The new sparkling wine sounds wonderful!

    Thank you for the Erma Bombeck! We also thank you for for the health update. We are keeping you, Eric and your healthcare team in our prayers. Hope to visit Anderson Valley and our Gowan relatives in late June. We will make a reservation at Smith Story for sure. The new sparkling wine sounds wonderful!

  • Linda
    Linda California
    This is very beautiful indeed. Children need to read this❣️

    This is very beautiful indeed.
    Children need to read this❣️

  • Carol James
    Carol James Oakland, CA
    Love, love, love this Erma Bombeck piece and you sharing it with us. Thank you for the health update -- we send good thoughts for healing and warm wishes for comfort. We will be heading to Mendo in the coming months and will stop in for a tasting and a friendly hello!

    Love, love, love this Erma Bombeck piece and you sharing it with us. Thank you for the health update -- we send good thoughts for healing and warm wishes for comfort. We will be heading to Mendo in the coming months and will stop in for a tasting and a friendly hello!

  • Sheryl Capers
    Sheryl Capers Seattle
    Ali, so glad to hear you are on the mend and staying positive. Remember that the God who created mothers is still on his throne and still cares about you! I'm sure that I'm joining many Smith-Story wine friends in lifting you up in prayer for total and complete healing in your whole body, mind and spirit! My heart is with you at this time.

    Ali, so glad to hear you are on the mend and staying positive. Remember that the God who created mothers is still on his throne and still cares about you! I'm sure that I'm joining many Smith-Story wine friends in lifting you up in prayer for total and complete healing in your whole body, mind and spirit! My heart is with you at this time.

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